Let's Make Them Look Like Us

Moments matter - period. Family picnics, a comeback win, weddings, a good workout, disheartening news, etc. You name it, the moments we have in life matter to us and to the people we are with, especially when you are contributing to something that really makes another person reflect in a beneficial way. I got caught up this past weekend on social media with the Drew Brees/Tom Brady moment when, after Brees career ended, the two met on the field and exchanged another goodbye and hug. Brees was on the field with his kids, laughing, and enjoying the moment with his family. Brady threw a TD pass to Brees’ son, and walked off the field. That moment mattered, as it showed how two of the fiercest competitors can play hard, do their best, and then appreciate what is right in front of them.

I went to Smithville High School in 1992 to teach English and be an assistant basketball coach. I often joke that the job at Smithville was my single biggest pay increase in a week’s time in my career. Just two weeks earlier, I had been offered a position at Tusky Central Catholic for a little over $14,000 (for the entire year), and then Smithville offered $25,000. I was rich! Well, I wasn’t rich in my bank account, but I certainly was with my first true teaching and coaching experience on a full time basis. Up until that point, I had been coaching at Norton with my freshmen team - SOME OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF MY COACHING CAREER - and going back to school to get a teaching degree. That happened, and so did Smithville. I was thankful..

Ora Shetler had just been named the head coach, and I had never met him until a new employee event at the Wayne County Educational Service Center. It was there that we were able to talk a little bit and say hello, not really knowing where we were heading and what season was in front of us. Normally, a staff would find some way to move together and help a program, but he had a brand new, young assistant to help him coach the Smithies. He was the choice of the superintendent, who had known Ora and felt great about him. He should have. To this day, Ora was one of the kindest humans and most disciplined coaches I have ever met.

That first season was a long time ago, and not many specific details still remain, but there’s one comment that left an impact on me that influenced my teaching and coaching approach. More on that comment and moment in a minute. That season...wow...it was tough. When you are new, and you don’t know your kids, but you begin getting ready for your season, it’s sometimes difficult to see what’s about to happen. It’s difficult to truly know how good your opponents would be versus what you were seeing in your own gym, but you certainly have optimism. Although that optimism never really left us, the hope that win after win would surface during your first year never materialized.

We started losing right out of the gate and, quite frankly, the losing never stopped. Moments to remember? At West Holmes one night, one of our really good players (and great kids) rebounded a missed free throw and threw it the length of the floor as if he was taking a shot to end the quarter. The problem? There was 1:01 left in the quarter, and from where he was standing in the lane, he could only see the :01. At a different game, one of your guards, who was incredibly feisty and would fight anyone, undercut a kid on a layup. Before you knew it, the other coach was at our bench wanting to fight Ora. That coach was ridiculous that night and always was. (I was really happy the following year when we opened up at his new school and beat them!). Anyways, there were some ridiculous things happening, we kept losing, but one thing kept occurring - we were building a team. Thursday night team meals with laughter and food. Saturday morning breakfasts, and in the homes in Smithville, it was a hungry man’s breakfast! Bacon, eggs, pancakes, sausage, etc. In addition, we were sticking to our beliefs in fundamental basketball. All of those things...all of those moments kept happening despite losing, because moments matter. And because we kept working, feeding the kids, watching game films, putting together scouting reports, our kids never quit. Because of that, we were prepared the moment when our first win was right in front of us. It was a night, a moment, a phrase that I will never forget.

For the entire season, we had never really gone on any 8-0 or 12-4 runs that would cause the other team to call a timeout. I can honestly say it hadn’t happened until, I believe, Game #12 when we were 0-11. The other team we were playing that night, Mapleton, was having a difficult season as well, so we knew the possibility of winning was better that night, and our kids knew it as well. At some point in the second half, we took off, and finally went on a run that caused Mapleton to call a timeout. Our kids, like they had seen so many other teams do to us all year, came running over as happy as they had been. They were having a moment. As the five players on the floor sat on the bench awaiting guidance, one of our guards, Brian Shane, said something that I will never forget. He leaned forward, and in talking to his teammates, said, “Let’s make them look like us.” I can hear it as if it happened yesterday, but it summed up perfectly that what happens in kids’ experiences in life matters to them!! You can struggle with kids, but HOW you struggle will determine if they remain united and emotionally with you when the good moments arrive.

What educators say and do matters, and our work ethic with them matters. Sarcasm with them? They remember it and don’t like it. Treating them poorly so you can show them who’s in charge? They remember it and don’t like it. Putting your nose to the grindstone, working your tail off, giving kids the time and love they need? They remember it and love it - no matter what. That comment solidified Ora’s approach to simply keep working, stick to what you know, treat kids well, and “things” will eventually work. They will unify, and in a very unusual way, put things in perspective that summarizes their feelings. That comment helped our staff at Copley endure a 5-17 season with some of my favorite kids I ever coached. I loved that group and knew that everything we were doing as adults mattered to those kids.

I’m happy to report that a few years later, as an assistant now at Copley High School, I traveled back to Smithville to watch the Smithies battle for the Wayne County league title. Berkey Gymnasium was sold out that night, but Ora let me in and I found a seat in the front row. The Smithies defeated Hillsdale that night for their first title since 1967, and tears were shed. Ora’s program had survived a difficult start and reached a level it hadn’t seen in a while. Many of those same kids who went 1-20 in our first year were there as fans as well. He kept having moments with kids in his program, and it worked.

As we help our own families, our friends, our kids, and our colleagues get through an incredibly difficult time period, never forget that the moments you have with them matter. How you approach both success and failure matters, and it creates emotions, thoughts and actions. If, during any of that work, people who are struggling are still able to muster up the emotion to say something like, “Make them look like us”, then you know, at a minimum, they are thinking about the work they are doing and aware of their surroundings. It’s still an emotion, and sometimes maintaining emotion and engagement is exactly what is needed during challenging times.